The importance of e-mail list subscribers. Do you really need them?
Of course you need them! You should have known that answer already. Every internet marketer known to man has proclaimed that e-mail converts and they’re absolutely right. But no one knows why except for the talking gerbil that lives inside of John Chow’s sock drawer. Fortunately, I have been given an exclusive interview with the remarkably rich rodent and am bringing you the inside scoop!
Q: I only have 12 minutes left to write this post, so let’s cut to the chase. Why does e-mail convert?
A: It’s all because of dumb people, Jordan. All because of them. Do you realize it’s the largest demographic of people in the world?
Q: What do you mean, Harold? (that’s his name, by the way)
A: You and me, we’re smart and savvy. We know technology. We know what RSS is. We don’t use Internet Explorer. We’re regularly on Twitter and more importantly, we know when people are full of shit. Dumb people don’t, so that’s why we market to them.
Q: Yeah, I read that in the $497 two-page eReport I bought from your website.
A: You’ve done your research then… oh also, dumb people like e-mail! Can you believe that? They like it because it’s the only thing about the internet they know how to use. So why not send them a message posing as their best friend from high school? It’s even more effective when you send them vague anchor text like “click here”. Dumb people click on links.
Q: Great point, but shouldn’t targeted search engine traffic with Adwords do more for you anyways?
A: Of course, that’s a big part of our scam. But there’s only so much focus you can draw out of dumb people’s short attention span. Don’t you notice sales pages only give you the option to “buy now” and nothing else to click?
Q: Yeah, that’s definitely something I see. Is that because of dumb people?
A. Yup. Too many links.
Q: Harold, thanks for taking the time out to share your secrets of internet marketing success.
A: No problem, man. Now can you help me get this Asian guy out of my damn house?