Memphis is known as a city of musical invention, from the Delta blues of Muddy Waters and B.B. King to the country and rockabilly styles of Johnny Cash and Elvis Presley. Memphis’ Beale Street is recognized the world over as the birthplace of the blues.

Yet in this city that heralds this vast creative tradition, how come the comedic art of inspiring laughter seems to fall upon deaf ears time and time again over the past two decades? Sir Laughs A Lot. Comedy House Cafe. The Laugh Factory. Comedy Zone. The Loony Bin. Funny Bone. Comedy Tennessee. These are just seven of the full-time comedy clubs that were not able to last past the fifth year of operation before going out of business. But why is this the case?

From an outsider’s perspective, the city of Memphis just isn’t adept to supporting live stand-up comedy. But with a population of that size, it seems unfathomable that even just attracting a small percentage of local inhabitants can’t sustain a veritable monopoly.

Maybe though, it actually isn’t the city’s apparent cold shoulder that’s been the problem. Maybe it’s just the failure of the “cookie-cutter” comedy club business model combined with lack of solid local marketing initiatives.

While the franchise chains may persuade you otherwise, local brick & mortar businesses are highly affected by the specific proclivities of the surrounding community and customer base. What works in one town may not work in another. Sometimes the approach taken in order to gain success in a local area must be so drastically different, it can’t be copied by anyone, anywhere at all.

Understanding your unique marketplace, competitors, and potential customers are the keys to finding the best and most fruitful direction for your business. Applying a blueprint model without doing so will likely find you in a world of hurt.

Will Memphis finally learn from its past mistakes or is the next comedy club upstart doomed from the get-go?

In addition to his live performances, Andy currently co-hosts a comedy-talk podcast Mostly Comedy with fellow comic Katrina Murrell. For some good laughs, go ahead and follow him on Twitter or check out some of Andy’s video clips on YouTube.

In addition to giving the city of Memphis a huge “WTF?”, Andy and I have a blast discussing:

• Promoting local community events with only word of mouth and no standard advertising.
• The two fundamental problems local businesses have when it comes to top-of-mind marketing.
• Marketing a product with language that potential customers would understand.
• Selling the experience of a live event, not purely a description of what is to take place.
• How directly asking customers “why?” is the easiest way of finding out what works.

Time spent listening to the radio is now at a 12-year low, and rock music is among the formats suffering the most.

Is it because there is so much competition in the marketplace now for listeners? Or is it because any time you turn on your local station, it seems as if you’re hearing the same 6 songs over and over again in an infinite loop ad nauseum?

Chris Anderson, famously penning the term ‘The Long Tail’, surmises that when distribution channels become plentiful and the cost of production reaches virtually nil, this opens up the door for niche offerings as a whole to overtake the upper echelon of the market. If the past decade’s worth of radio numbers is any indicator, this seems to be the main culprit of the demise of this medium. But does the radio industry even realize that this is the case?

More and more are radio stations cutting back on local and niche programming and preferring to embark in seemingly risk-averse strategies to cut costs and maintain the ad department’s status quo. Through one-size-fits-all voice tracking and the reliance on small music rotations (that only have tracks that score high in generalized focus groups), are radio execs actually compounding their problems by completely ignoring the Long Tail phenomenon & trying to make the “fat head” fit into their business model at all costs?

Joining me on this podcast episode for some wiseass banter is stand-up comedian Spanky Brown. A 12 year veteran of the comedy stage, Spanky can be seen regularly on B.E.T’s Comic View, Comedy Central, is a contributing writer for the nationally syndicated Tom Joyner Show and is heard often as a guest on the Bob & Tom radio show. For some good laughs, go ahead and follow him on Twitter or check out some of Spanky’s video clips on YouTube.

In addition to giving the radio industry a kick in the ass, Spanky and I have a blast discussing:

• How marketing your ‘personal brand’ is an ever-changing variable depending on your demographics.
• The fallacy of executives making journalists into entertainment or comedic figures on the air.
• Why broadcasting talent should bypass the middlemen and go directly to the fans.
• Lebron James and the proliferation of social media & journalistic absurdity in sports marketing.
• The power of the celebrity driven model in marketing products and how the general public are sheep.

When you hear a marketing rockstar ninja expert use the word engage about 84 times in a 7 minute interview, do you vomit in your mouth just a little bit?

When you wake up in the morning to find 163 new blog posts, 326 Facebook updates, 831 incoming tweets (not including the redundant aggregation of each individual one on 74 other social platforms) – do you smell a pungent odor emanating from this landfill?

Do you get the sense that social media is just a delusion we’re all perpetrating on ourselves with implicit collusion in order to give a sense of purpose and value to our empty lives?

Do you get a feeling that human nature is actually not changing whatsoever, but has designed a construct in which our own selfish needs and dirty little secrets can be veiled so well to the unsuspecting masses?

Do you think anyone in business who stands to earn income in any way possible, directly or indirectly, from the use of social media can truly be authentic about their intentions?

This all sounds like the same business model of strippers.

The only difference is that the pole dancer knows what she is and doesn’t deny it.

So, why can’t we just admit that we’re all whores?

At this point, you must think I’m crazy to suggest that you don’t know it all. You’ve been blogging for a whole 5 weeks, so you obviously have all the answers already.

Why would you want to collaborate with competitors in your field?

Of course you don’t. It would be silly to actually help your mortal foes. I’m not suggesting that whatsoever. What I am implying is that you start a blogging alliance as a well-disguised ploy for purposes of espionage. Just like the famous Sun Tzu quote:

“Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.”

So form this “alliance” based on trust… and then use that to your advantage. Find a handful of blogging competitors on the cusp of attaining success and reel them in. At the start, help them out with tidbits of useful advice. Visit their blogs, comment and contribute. Make it seem like you actually care, you know? Of course, you don’t really care – but your goal is to earn their respect. Once they value your opinion almost more than their own, you’ve got them!

After this tipping point is reached inside this “alliance”, you now have the opportunity to chip away at your competitors. Exploit their gullible little minds by passing off the worst advice and incorrect information as gold.

Show them why it’s a great idea to have 146 widgets active on their sidebar. Convince them that e-mail marketing is highly overrated and they should focus on getting thousands of Twitter followers (even offer your $97 service to do just that!). Tell them how beneficial it would be to rank high for tasteless asian bondage porn. Be as nefarious as possible. Whatever you can do to derail their success, it will benefit you!

What types of bloggers should be part of your alliance?

A-Listers: These bloggers are the cream of the crop in your niche.

You fawn over them and their success constantly. Although they will be impervious at your attempts to corrupt them in your “alliance” scheme, it will be imperative to have at least one vouch for your credibility. Invite them in for a chat for a few minutes. The rest of your group will hang on every single word they say – so giving them an impression that you’re “cool in their books” will earn you much needed trust very quickly.

B-Listers: These bloggers are those that appear successful to you, but really aren’t.

You see them guest posting on major blogs. They release products seemingly every month. It looks like they’re indeed making a full-time living blogging – but they’re nothing more than hype. Exploit their “fame” for your own selfish purposes. They’re going to be much more accessible since their latest e-course only has 3 paid students.

How do you usurp them? Weasel your way into as many joint ventures with these bloggers as you can… then use that leverage to step on their heads, leaving them behind in your wake. There’s only room for one spot at the top, so why share the spotlight whatsoever?

C-Listers: The level where you think you reside, but your 7 subscribers say otherwise.

These bloggers will make up a bulk of your alliance. Other like-minded individuals with the same philosophies, goals, strategies and methods as yourself. These similarities and compatibilities are the reason why you need to quash their rise up the ladder. Your niche is saturated as it is – so, who needs people embarking in the same optimal techniques that you’ve figured out? They’re standing in your way!

Slowly veer them off track, rationally question the effectiveness of their methods and eventually you’ll steer them into the direction of impending failure. Of course, you’ll be smart and keep plodding away using the original agreed-upon avenues while your “alliance” competitors are bogged down for weeks utilizing worthless tactics.

D-Listers: Bloggers who are actually making money, but you scoff at their niche.

These are niche bloggers that write about anything from video games to college lifestyle tips to vegetable gardening. Many are making quite a good chunk of change doing what they do, but you laughably put aside that notion in your head. You blog about blogging – you’re supposed to be the expert at it, so what they hell do they know?

Look to recruit a few of these saps (if you can get your head out of the self-important echo chamber of meta-blogging) who believe you have some hidden insight. All the while, secretly learn how they’re actually able to pull off making money when you can’t. Of course, keep these secrets to yourself.

F-Listers: These are bloggers who have no clue, but they suck up to you.

“In the valley of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” Well, these bloggers are deaf, dumb and blind. Somehow you’ve been able to leave a positive impression on them as an authority – even if it’s just because you can spell “HTML” and they can’t. Unbelievably, they’ve bought into the hype that blogging about blogging can actually make you money – which, of course, is exactly what you got duped into thinking!

Exploit their fragile minds by molding their beliefs around strategies and methods that are obviously counterproductive. Denounce the importance of Google. Proclaim Friend Feed is where it’s at. Trust me, they’ll buy into anything you say no matter how absurd. These are the people who will pave the way for a new generation of meta-bloggers, so why not skew as many as you can in promoting the worst advice possible to others? This will help you out exponentially as the amount of useless content spreads to even greener bloggers entering the niche. The cycle will go on and on as you reach for glory!

What is the ultimate goal of having a blogging alliance?

You’re not smart. You have no talent. You can’t achieve anything on your own accord. The only way you have any chance at success is to knock others off their pedestal, keep the rest down, influence the masses to choose the wrong path and step on anyone that gets in your way. Living off your relative value in comparison to others is the foundation of your business model. As more and more default to failure, your mediocre abilities will shine above them all.

But first, coming full circle, you must admit you need help. Oh, not from those that can be “in” on your evil plot – but those who are gullible enough to believe creating a useful community to network, share & help each other is actually a good idea. What fools!

Get ahead by building a powerful blogging alliance today.

It’s a business cliche that has been around for ages. While it’s debatable whether the accuracy of this exact statement is true, it definitely highlights an omnipresent point that cannot be refuted. Your customers are your business. Without them, you’d be out of business.

It’s a no-brainer that any business or anyone involved with making money should treat their customers like gold. They’re the ones paying your bills, feeding your family and hopefully, maintaining your comfortable lifestyle. There’s no question it’s important to care for them, nurture them, provide support, foster a relationship, communicate and establish a continued positive environment for them to purchase in the future. I think we all understand this… but this begs the question, just who exactly are your customers?

To get clarification and answer this simple question, I did a quick search on Google for the definition of the word “customer”. Here is just a sample of the results:

Customer – a person who buys.

Customer – one that purchases a commodity or service.

Customer – a person who purchases goods or services from another.

Customer – one that buys goods or services.

Customer – one who purchases or receives a product or service from a business or merchant.

What is the one thing all these definitions have in common? A customer is one that buys something. If you even want to broaden the scope a bit more: a customer is someone in which a business makes money from in a transaction.

Your blog readers are NOT your customers.

Sure, maybe some of them are. Maybe some will turn into customers. Maybe some never will. But just because someone is reading your blog, it doesn’t automatically make them a customer.

It also really depends on your business model. Are you even selling any product or service? If so, are the bulk of your blog readers part of the target market and demographic you’re even selling to? If you have nothing available to purchase, then how could anyone you encounter even be considered a customer?

Your peers are NOT your customers.

Sure, maybe one or two may buy something from you – that is, if it fits a very important need for them and you’re an expert on the subject. Otherwise, they will most probably never purchase anything and make you any money directly.

Peers are business associates. Peers will likely visit your blog quite often. They’re great to have as a resource for help, support and future business opportunities. It’s definitely a good idea to foster a good relationship with them, but when it all boils down – they’re not your customers.

Your friends, followers and fans are NOT your customers.

Sure, many of them can be. It’s quite possible a whole bunch may have bought something from you or will in the future. But out of the hundreds, thousands or even more “followers” you have (many of which are faceless names, non-engaging types or downright spam automatons) – what percentage of them are truly buyers?

Platforms like Twitter and Facebook are an absolute must for any business to get the pulse of the market. There’s a definite benefit in engaging with the community centered around your niche, but it is just that: a social network. It’s not necessarily your consumer base. Just because someone retweeted you, @replied, posted on your wall or gave you a “poke” – that doesn’t automatically make them a customer.

Pay attention to everyone, but focus more on your customers.

Everyone repeat these three words with me. This. Is. Business.

If you’re looking to make money online through your blog, it’s imperative that you really grasp this concept well. You’re creating and maintaining a business. You want to make money. There’s nothing evil about this! It’s just cold hard facts. Everything you do should lead towards to your ultimate goals. Prioritize accordingly.

Should you try to reply to e-mails in a timely manner regardless of who it’s from? Sure.

Should you make it a point to thank those who help promote your business? Absolutely.

Should you encourage discussion within your community and on your blog? Of course.

But when it comes down to business, real dollars and tangible, sellable assets… the actual customers, whoever and wherever they happen to be, should always be at the forefront of your attention. No questions asked.

Not readers. Not peers. Not followers. Not fans. But customers.

Repeat those three words again. This. Is. Business.

Maybe after hearing the cliche of “the customer is always right” being used time and time again, we should update it to a more accurate 2010 version: the customer is always first.