Posts Tagged ‘marketing’
The Social Media Strip Club
When you see the term “social media” written in the mainstream press as this awe-inspiring, ground-breaking, radical shift in the connected human consciousness (their buzzwords, not mine) – do you roll your eyes and sigh apathetically?
When you hear a marketing rockstar ninja expert use the word engage about 84 times in a 7 minute interview, do you vomit in your mouth just a little bit?
When you wake up in the morning to find 163 new blog posts, 326 Facebook updates, 831 incoming tweets (not including the redundant aggregation of each individual one on 74 other social platforms) – do you smell a pungent odor emanating from this landfill?
Do you get the sense that social media is just a delusion we’re all perpetrating on ourselves with implicit collusion in order to give a sense of purpose and value to our empty lives?
Do you get a feeling that human nature is actually not changing whatsoever, but has designed a construct in which our own selfish needs and dirty little secrets can be veiled so well to the unsuspecting masses?
Do you think anyone in business who stands to earn income in any way possible, directly or indirectly, from the use of social media can truly be authentic about their intentions?
This all sounds like the same business model of strippers.
The only difference is that the pole dancer knows what she is and doesn’t deny it.
So, why can’t we just admit that we’re all whores?
5 Reasons Why No One Pays Attention To Your Content
This is a guest post by Fit Jerk riddled with brutal, brash, unrelenting honesty. (and that’s why I love the dude!)
When you combine all the hoo-haa from the big time names in blogging (Seth Godin, Gary Vaynerchuk, Darren Rowse, Chris Brogan etc), you start to see things differently. You start to believe in blogging. Hell, you start to believe that that YOU can blog and MAKE IT! These guys and gals pump you up, they motivate you and tell you to get your word out there and be successful.
So off you go, starting your own blog in hopes of becoming “pro” and after some time a grave realization comes up on you when you find out that… No one gives a flying poodle shit about what you have to say!
Now we obviously know why this is a problem. So I decided I’m gonna do something about this and help out the ones that are being ignored. I have taken the time to pint-point five areas in blogging where you might be weak (it could be all of them) and then provided a little cure so you can turn it into your strength. Don’t get all offended if I nail the problem in the head about you or your blog… it happens. You’ll get through it, I promise… Maybe. Let’s get on with it.
1. You suck.
I mean, plain and simple… you just suck. You couldn’t string words together into a sentence if your life depended on it. In fact, if humanity’s sole survival depended on you writing a half-decent paragraph, you’d be responsible for wiping out our entire fucking species. That’s a lot of sucking.
BUT… luckily for you, it’s not the end of the world. Why? Well first of all, humanity doesn’t depend on you (thank the lord). And second of all, if you suck, you can do something about it. You can either switch mediums to get your message across (like Gary Vaynerchuk… he is a terrible writer so he dictated his book to someone who could write and is a video blogger himself) OR you can learn how not to suck… and blow shit outta the water instead. This is what I did. I was a sucky-ass writer, so I decided to read, learn and practice till people went from “WTF is this dude?” to “This is half decent” – and to me, that was good enough to start with.
And now just look at me, I’ve made it in life! I’m all prestigious, world-famous and guest posting on… Not A Pro Blog! Damn, never mind. I still love you Jordan.
2. You fail to make an impression – people forget you.
Or to put it in other words… you’re boring as fuck. You couldn’t hold the attention span of a tied down sloth. Technically you can write, but your content reads like a math text book. It puts people to sleep and causes zero emotional excitement. I think the authors of this type of content should pay ME to read their crap. Id rather look at dull gray skies and watch King Of The Hill… at least there’s a small chance I might have a good time.
If you fall into this category, then the first thing you need to do is start living a more exciting life. I don’t give a shit if you’re an introvert… so is Darren Rowse, yet he found a way to write compelling content for the masses. So why can’t you?
Then go take some improv lessons… or better yet, tell Jordan that you’ll give him sexual favors in exchange for some comedy training. Also, reading content by other authors who are considered to be “good” or “great” isn’t a bad idea. And no, reading my shit doesn’t constitute it as being “great” content.
… Its actually constitutes as be phenomenal! 
3. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
This one is almost incurable… simply because these people can’t accept that they’re wrong and keep talking out of their asses. I mean, the truth could come and whack them on the ass with a 2×4 and they’ll just find that kinky as hell. What really bugs me is that sometimes these people don’t suck at writing and actually have a personality… but if they only did some god damn research before opening their pie hole, I wouldn’t want to punch them in the face.
But, I did say “almost”. If you happen to fall into this category… it’s OK to accept it. I forgive your ignorant ass, just move on and better yourself. Don’t keep spewing out the same nonsense over and over again, change it up. Be more real. Be thought provoking… then see how people actually pay attention to you.
4. You can’t promote for shit.
As in, if you were a club promoter… that place would be out of business faster than the Betamax. If you don’t know how to put your content in front of eyeballs, then forget it. How the hell do you expect anyone to pay attention to you? No one… NO ONE will come knocking on your door willingly. At least not at first.
You need to have a basic understanding of marketing and how to leverage eyeballs and traffic so you can get people to read your shit. If you are having trouble in this area, may I suggest my in-depth article – 4 SEO Laws Of Online Success. This article is “evergreen” which means no matter how many times Google changes their top secret search algorithm, following my tips will never go outta style. It’s like a classy black dress – party, family gathering, funeral or slutty bar night… it’ll always work.
5. You have no patience.
Ok, lets say you’re a half decent writer, you have a personality, you know what you’re talking about and you started to do some social media marketing along with a few other methods. Yet, you realize the number of people paying attention to you is almost insignificant. What’s wrong?
Nothing! You need to realize that this is NOT an overnight process. Quit your bitching, keep your chin up and keep working, networking, promoting etc. Or if you’re me, a lil bit of harassing as well – it goes a long way. In all honesty, don’t expect traction for a minimum of 6 months if you are serious about gaining something from your blogging efforts. Say it with me “MIN-NI-MUM OF SIX MONTHS”
The ONLY way you can flip your blog “overnight” is if you have like $10,000 to spend on AdWords and you promote the living shit outta your blog or site for 5 days straight – buying every possible ad space on every possible site related to your niche. Truth be told, this is not a bad strategy… but unless you know what the fuck you’re doing and/or have a proper business model in place, you will lose your money faster than Lindsay Lohan lost her virginity.
So there you have it…
Truth be told, not everyone pays attention to me either… and that’s just dandy with me. I’m more of a polarizing writer, which means I cause either black or white emotions. For example, just think of your opinion of me right now, after reading all of that. You probably hate me, or you love me… but I doubt you’re like “oh he’s ok”. And if you do think im “ok”… then screw you. Stop messing up my examples!
The point is, it’s not that hard to get people to listen to you. Specially not in today’s world with all these social applications that keep popping up. You just gotta apply the tips and be willing to put in the work.
While he has a passion for writing and oozes the entrepreneurial spirit, FJ is a Fitness Expert first, and focuses on impeccably accurate advice that is delivered it in a straight forward, No-BS style. Check out his Fitness Blog and E-Training program!
Confessions Of A Free Addict
I want everything for free. I want it all for nothing. $0.00 is the only price I want to pay.
I will fight tooth and nail to get anything for free. Music, movies and games, I’ll try to find a torrent.
Any type of news or information, I’ll search the heavens and the earth for what I want at no cost.
No law will stop me. No moral or ethical argument will persuade me.
Yes, I have money to spend – but you will have to pry it from my dead body to get it.
I don’t care how valuable the content is. To me, it’s not worth paying for if I don’t have to.
I don’t care about you. I don’t care how much work you’ve put into it. I don’t owe you anything.
It doesn’t matter how many free products you send me.
It doesn’t matter how much trust, authority or influence you’ve created for yourself.
I will never buy your shit. I will never buy your shit. I will never buy your shit.
Now, what are you trying to sell me again?
Are Your Blog Readers Your Customers?
“The customer is always right.”
It’s a business cliche that has been around for ages. While it’s debatable whether the accuracy of this exact statement is true, it definitely highlights an omnipresent point that cannot be refuted. Your customers are your business. Without them, you’d be out of business.
It’s a no-brainer that any business or anyone involved with making money should treat their customers like gold. They’re the ones paying your bills, feeding your family and hopefully, maintaining your comfortable lifestyle. There’s no question it’s important to care for them, nurture them, provide support, foster a relationship, communicate and establish a continued positive environment for them to purchase in the future. I think we all understand this… but this begs the question, just who exactly are your customers?
To get clarification and answer this simple question, I did a quick search on Google for the definition of the word “customer”. Here is just a sample of the results:
Customer – a person who buys.
Customer – one that purchases a commodity or service.
Customer – a person who purchases goods or services from another.
Customer – one that buys goods or services.
Customer – one who purchases or receives a product or service from a business or merchant.
What is the one thing all these definitions have in common? A customer is one that buys something. If you even want to broaden the scope a bit more: a customer is someone in which a business makes money from in a transaction.
Your blog readers are NOT your customers.
Sure, maybe some of them are. Maybe some will turn into customers. Maybe some never will. But just because someone is reading your blog, it doesn’t automatically make them a customer.
It also really depends on your business model. Are you even selling any product or service? If so, are the bulk of your blog readers part of the target market and demographic you’re even selling to? If you have nothing available to purchase, then how could anyone you encounter even be considered a customer?
Your peers are NOT your customers.
Sure, maybe one or two may buy something from you – that is, if it fits a very important need for them and you’re an expert on the subject. Otherwise, they will most probably never purchase anything and make you any money directly.
Peers are business associates. Peers will likely visit your blog quite often. They’re great to have as a resource for help, support and future business opportunities. It’s definitely a good idea to foster a good relationship with them, but when it all boils down – they’re not your customers.
Your friends, followers and fans are NOT your customers.
Sure, many of them can be. It’s quite possible a whole bunch may have bought something from you or will in the future. But out of the hundreds, thousands or even more “followers” you have (many of which are faceless names, non-engaging types or downright spam automatons) – what percentage of them are truly buyers?
Platforms like Twitter and Facebook are an absolute must for any business to get the pulse of the market. There’s a definite benefit in engaging with the community centered around your niche, but it is just that: a social network. It’s not necessarily your consumer base. Just because someone retweeted you, @replied, posted on your wall or gave you a “poke” – that doesn’t automatically make them a customer.
Pay attention to everyone, but focus more on your customers.
Everyone repeat these three words with me. This. Is. Business.
If you’re looking to make money online through your blog, it’s imperative that you really grasp this concept well. You’re creating and maintaining a business. You want to make money. There’s nothing evil about this! It’s just cold hard facts. Everything you do should lead towards to your ultimate goals. Prioritize accordingly.
Should you try to reply to e-mails in a timely manner regardless of who it’s from? Sure.
Should you make it a point to thank those who help promote your business? Absolutely.
Should you encourage discussion within your community and on your blog? Of course.
But when it comes down to business, real dollars and tangible, sellable assets… the actual customers, whoever and wherever they happen to be, should always be at the forefront of your attention. No questions asked.
Not readers. Not peers. Not followers. Not fans. But customers.
Repeat those three words again. This. Is. Business.
Maybe after hearing the cliche of “the customer is always right” being used time and time again, we should update it to a more accurate 2010 version: the customer is always first.
Flawless Blogging with Fit Jerk
The blogger simply known as Fit Jerk has been making waves in the fitness industry with his brash cut-to-the-chase, brutally honest, no bullshit attitude. He doesn’t just exude confidence, he epitomizes it. Just take a look at some quotes from Fit Jerk’s Fitness Blog and you’ll see what I mean:
“I don’t like wasting time, I don’t kiss people’s asses, I can’t handle people who feel sorry for themselves. I tell it like it is. I don’t accept the guilt of those who chose to be mediocre in life.”
“Unlike some ‘experts’ who are out of shape and completely useless, I can help you get in the best shape of your life. Point blank period. I’m the dude that’s done it, tried it, and been through it all.”
“You either get with the program or take a hike. But eventually, you know you’ll be back. In fact I know you’ll be back because 95% of the info out there is bullshit, designed to keep you a mindless product-consuming sheep.”
Bloggers out there in any niche can learn a thing or two from Fit Jerk’s no holds barred approach to marketing. I tend to be on the same page with him on many issues and think the anti-hyperbole may be the new direction for advertising in the coming years.
Although I’ll freely admit I’m not strong-willed enough to handle a fitness regimen of any kind… why don’t you check out Fit Jerk’s Flawless Fitness Book and as he puts it, “have a body that turns heads wherever you go”. (which for me, is only a 30 feet radius around my computer desk!)
and now the raw & uncensored interview…
Q: I think everyone can tell straight off just by the name “Fit Jerk” that you mean business and don’t hold anything back.
A: Yeah, you’re right. I’m a straight up kinda guy. I actually got the name from this lady who was one of my first book customers. She wasn’t taking action so I laid it to her straight. She called me a jerk, but a fit one. I liked it and ran with it. Most authors wouldn’t raise a finger after making the sale. I’m not going to be associated with that kind of faggotry.
Q: But why should people listen to you?
A: The thing is, people don’t have to listen to me and I’m not out to convince them of shit like that. Those that are skeptical always ask me that question “why should I listen to you FJ?” and what I tell them is to go read my blog. That’s it. I don’t try and sell them some bullshit or pressure them with retarded products. I let my writing, my body and the results of the people I train do my talking. What ends up happening is that instead of me giving them reasons of why they should listen to me, then end up creating their own.
Some listen to me because I cut the crap and lay it to them straight. Others listen to me because on some disturbing level they find me entertaining. Some listen because I deliver real content. Whatever floats their boat.
See, there are too many fat ass morons running around screaming desperately so that people will pay attention to them. That’s not my style. I don’t chase. I don’t kiss ass and I don’t bend over for people. What I do is lend out my hand, if you take it, cool. If you ignore it, cool. There is a reason I model myself in my own fucking book, it’s not to show you how awesome I am (ok maybe a little) but it’s because I like to walk the talk. I find it funny when I see fitness books and the person showcasing the exercises in the book isn’t the author, because they are usually not in any presentable shape. It’s like “why?”
But the even more baffling thing is that there are some fitness authors that look good enough to be in books don’t bother putting themselves in. Pretty dumb if you ask me.
Q: So you’re pretty much an advocate of what I say – be your own expert, yes? Do you find that after people take your course and read your stuff, eventually they see that most of what you say is pure common fucking sense?
A: Not really. Ha ha, but it depends. See, if I talk to someone who knows what they are doing, they will read my stuff and say “well, of course! That’s common sense!” But what is common sense to them may not make sense for others, especially beginners. See, people make fitness both overly complicated than it needs to be or too simple and see no results. It’s neither of those things. It’s in the middle. I realized this through experience, nothing else. I’ve been to both extremes and it’s a pretty odd place to be.
Now I have a healthy obsession. Healthy because I’m not up at night losing sleep trying to read every newly released scientific study under the sun. You can’t know it all. No one can, but you can know a good amount to make shit happen. Now before I turn into a fucking monk, let’s move on…
Q: What are the “experts” not telling people in the fitness industry that you are?
A: First let me just say that there are legit people out there as far as trainers or even as far as bloggers go. In fact I have 3 categories for them. The first are the awesome sauces of the world, like Jody from truth2beingfit.com. She comes to my blog because she says I motivate her. It’s actually quite the opposite, this woman inspires me because at 52, she looks kick ass. She’s a lean, mean grandma and knows what she’s doing. So mad respect. Others that are cool are JC from JCD Fitness, Will Brink, Matt Perryman, Nate Green, Lyle Mcdonald and a few others. These people are cool. If you find my obnoxious, too abrasive for your reading pleasure, now you know you have credible options.
The 2nd type of people are the “fakers”. These tools don’t exactly claim to be “experts” which is ok, but what gets me going is when they try and sell fitness advice, and yet don’t know jack shit. They blog because they think blogging is cool. You can tell by the way they write that fitness is just some “make quick cash” scheme they are dabbling in. These fuckers really annoy me. Fitness and writing about fitness is my craft and I take this seriously. There are nights I’ve been up reading studies and books till my eyes bleed… or till my contacts get dry enough to resemble a shriveled prune… and then you find some schmuck who recommends the latest diet pill and backs it up with broscience. Lame.
The 3rd type are the sellouts and/or the marketing fairies. Take Christian Thibaudeau for example. I’ve read his books and articles and respected this guy… all up till the point where he helped tmuscle.com push some bullshit supplement that promised like 20lbs of muscle in like 2 weeks (or something equally ridiculous). Not even steroids can give you these types of results… and this just pissed me off. I mean here is a guy who I respected, but now I have to lose all respect for him, just because of this move. On top of that he was all like “I dont even get paid to praise this awesome supplement”. Heh, first I think thats bullshit and even if that was true – what a stupid move. If you’re going to sell out like that, at least demand a higher price, dude!
Oh, then there are the acai berry scams etc. Don’t even get me started with that shit.
So what am I doing different? Well, basically I’m cutting through the noise and getting back down to Earth with a realistic and effective approach. If I tell you to do something it’s because it works for me and countless others. When I tell you to take something, it’s because I’ve taken it in the past and has proven to be effective. Truth be told, I would love to slap the morons spreading the ridiculousness out there, but unfortunately shit splatters.
Q: Are you annoyed more at them or the fact there are a ton of dumbasses paying them money for it? Have you ever had an “encounter” with someone you thought was full of shit? I’m almost afraid to see what you’d be like to their face…
A: Good question, but you can never blame the customer. Money is earned, so when they plunk down their cash they probably believe that it will bring them some benefit, some kind of valuable return on investment. The only reason they believe that is because the douchebag “expert” gave them a complete mind fuck. But at the end of the day, I somewhat need these god damn cupcakes running around scamming people, because that’s when they come running to me.
I make it a goal to be the end of the line when it comes to someone’s fitness goals. What I mean by this is that they shouldn’t need to go diet hopping or living in a state of confusion after FJ has graced some truth upon them. They can certainly learn more but a good foundation is what I set out to do.
As for in-person… Yeah, I’ve met some idiots in person but not anyone who runs a useless blog. I think they avoid me, which is a wise decision.
Q: You seem to give very practical tips on your blog that virtually anyone can understand.
A: Yeah, my writing philosophy is smack-your-face-simple. Step 1: Make it useful. Step 2: Make it simple. So when I start writing, I end up with this massive, sometimes confusing web of thoughts and ideas, but it’s all useful stuff. Sometimes it’s gold and the next day I’m like “damn I wrote that?” What I do then is edit, structure and simplify it all down so that even a complete tool with zero skills can understand it. In fact I want people to be able to read an article, then that very day go apply whatever they learned.
It’s a process I call “spit first, shine later”. I also call it verbal diarrhea but that doesn’t sound nearly as appealing.
Q: This is actually quite good advice for any blogger. You’ve made quite a name for yourself on the ProBlogger.com forum – especially since you seem to have more of a grasp of blogging than even some of the “blogging bloggers”. How do you think your fitness niche uniquely differs than some of the leading advice given by the blogging gurus?
A: Heh, yeah, Problogger is a cool, tight forum. But it’s not been all sugarcream and honey rainbows. Lara (the mod) consistently gave me fucking hell in the beginning. Two infractions and a shit load of PM’s. At one point I was apparently on the last stand and she said I’d get banned if she heard another complaint. Not her fault though… all these retarded people were bitching like little girls. It’s a damn forum, don’t read my stuff if you don’t like it, know what I mean? No one was forcing them yet they kept on being douches.
Whatever. I can’t change who the fuck I am and so all I kept doing what what I knew best – bring value to the forum and connect with cool people. But I also respected the place so I decided that after writing, I’d go back and edit my spice and throw in a little bit of “nice” so I can hang around.
As for the question… Well, one place where it differs is that I can be diverse. A lot of the blogging gurus will say “stick to your niche”. Well for me, I don’t have to since fitness is universal. It doesn’t matter if your’re an accountant or a fucking race car driver. Everyone wants to live healthier and so what I do is “spread my seed”.
I’ve guest posted for Men With Pens which is a freelance writer site. I’ve also guest posted for Marko at How To Make My Blog and have done other non-fitness related interviews. Why? For one, I like what I’m talking about and two, it gets me known. So when these people ever need to seek fitness advice, that little “seed” has been planted and they will think of the one person that has established trust and knows what he’s talking about. Me. Now a bunch of marketing geeks will drool over this technique and use it just to get exposure and “to plant seeds” and hey, to each their own. I don’t write for anyone I don’t like. I read Men With Pens on a consistent basis and I’ve gotten to know their editor, so it works for me.
Other than that, the rest of the advice is standard as usual. For anyone that’s looking for something “fancy” – don’t bother. Get a blog. Start writing. Invest in yourself so you better your craft. Promote it, connect with others and always remember content is king. It’s not difficult, it’s just tedious work… and too many nipple nuggets forget that.
Q: Do you look more to help everyday average people that may not want “rock-hard chiseled abs”? Or is your attitude that if you’re not going to be 100% passionate about your fitness, you don’t want to waste your time on them?
A: I help anyone that wants to be helped, regardless of their goal. Point blank period. The people that I don’t want to waste time with are ones that are always bitching, whining and complaining. I don’t care what your goal is. I don’t care what you think of me and I certainly don’t care how deep your pockets are. As long as you put that head down and do what I’m telling you, things will start to happen.
This is one of the reasons why I have so many articles under the motivation category of my site. There isn’t a lack of information out there (in fact there is actually too much info and people get paralyzed), there is a lack of action. People read and read and watch videos and listen to podcasts, then just sit at home and bask in the newfound knowledge that they gained without doing anything with it.
FUCK THAT.
You want to know the one place where I had always had the biggest learning experience? No it wasn’t school. It was the fucking gym. The lessons that I have gained from helping others and training myself was worth more than the weight on the bar. The reason is because there is a gap between theory and reality. This is why transferring information from the head to your hand results in a different experience. You can go read about some cool new workout you read in a magazine but when you go try it, you realize it’s completely useless. The iron is king. Nothing is above it.
Q: You talk a lot of smack talking shit against supplements it seems. Is it just certain “magical” ones in general or virtually all of them?
A: Yes and no. A huge pull for my site is the fact that I review supplements, and if you’ve ever read my supplement reviews, you’ll see that I can be quite an ass (when justified). A few companies have blacklisted me from sending future samples because I bashed their shit so hard. But think about this for a minute… you are a supplement company and are off to send your product to a dude who runs Fit Jerk’s Fitness Blog!
If your product is blows chunks, How do you think I’m going to express myself? A fucking monkey could answer that question. I guess some of them feel that I owe them something because they sent me free samples. I don’t owe them shit. The only person I owe anything to is myself first and my readers second.
The truth is I like supplements. I’m a fan. But there are just too many insane products that use so much fairy marketing lingo, it’s crazy. If you want a good laugh, go read the sales copy for Muscletech’s Anabolic Halo. That shit belongs on a comic book, not in a store.
Q: I’m also assuming the new FTC regulations haven’t affected you one bit then. You’ve been hardcore straight up from day one so there wasn’t a need to change. Are you secretly hoping they crack down hard on some of the fakers in your niche?
A: No, I’m too honest for FTC to violate me. If I take the effort to write a deep and detailed review of a supplement (or product) and it happens to be good, I’ll legitemally want to help the company spread the word and sell it. So at the end of the review I’ll say “if you liked what I wrote and if you want to support the site, pick up this supplement from the link below”
So I’m disclosing the link, and hey, if they are going to buy it anyway, why not support the site that told them all about it? I know I would.
Q: I’m a scrawny guy with almost no muscle whatsoever and I sit in front of my computer working for hours on end. What fitness advice would you give to someone like me? Like a full-time blogger?
A: I consider myself a full time blogger by day, yet I still hold another job (coaching gymnastics and martial arts) that I do in the evenings and I can still find time to hit up the gym. So first, I’d say get a membership. It doesn’t have to be all frills, but if you want some mass, you will need to lift heavy, and then eventually, heavier. I’d create a 6-week plan with tons of compound movements and tell you to progressively overload your weight every week. I’d also focus on volume. Hypertrophy favors volume at 75-80% of your max intensity. But all of this is only accounts for 30% of the success.
The other 70% is your food intake. If you’re scrawny, then chances are your body fat is already low (I’m guessing since I’ve never measured yours), so there is no real point in trying hard to stay shredded. A 45-30-25 ratio (protein-carbs-fats) would be a good way to go. To make things accurate, I’d calculate your base metabolic rate (the # of calories you burn just to stay alive). Then I’d factor in your activity level… which I’ll consider null. Then I’d take this number and slap on another 1500 calories on top and you would have your daily intake.
I’d also tell you to take fish oils, creatine, whey protein & a solid multivitamin. Nothing fancy, just stuff thats tried and true. Those are the basics. Of course, as a client we’d go into more detail… which is why I do something called E-Training.
Q: A much more detailed reply than I expected. I figured it would be “stop smoking, eating pizza, drinking 4 cups of coffee a day and go for a walk once in a while, you fucking idiot!”
A: Yeah, actually that’s not bad advice and a good way to start. Now all you gotta do is look in the mirror and say that shit out loud a good dozen times.
Find out more about Fit Jerk by checking out Fit Jerk’s Fitness Blog. You can also follow him on Twitter @FitJerk. Just don’t piss him off!
Mandatory Christmas Blog Post
I would like to thank every single blog I read regularly for wishing me a Merry Christmas. Thank you so much for filling up my RSS reader with short posts of little value all just so you can fake caring about me. As a present, can you buy me the hour of my life I wasted sorting through all the drivel?
Oh, and I can’t leave out all the people I’m following on Twitter. Thank you for filling my stream giving me a play by play of Christmas Eve with the family. Jimmy has grown up so much since the last time we saw him, don’t you think? I know it’s tough to spend a whole day conversing with Grandpa about the war and Aunt Ellen with her eccentric cooking antics… but do we really have to experience the pain along with you? I’m glad I’m not on Flickr or I’d have to look at your ugly kids too.
I would also like to thank every blogger who wrote an “hilarious” themed post by spoofing a well-known Christmas poem. You’re so clever, the way you replaced a few nouns with blogging terms! I can play mad libs too. Try this one out:
Not a comment was posted, not even a ping.
The copy was written on the squeeze page with care,
In hopes that loyal readers soon would be there.
The video teaser was nestled all snug in an embed,
While visions of Paypal deposits danced in my head.
And eBooks ready for purchase, traffic to get capped
Had just settled an affiliate deal for more unlucky saps.
When out on the blog there arose such a chatter,
I sprang from John Chow’s ass to see if my wallet was fatter.
Away to e-Junkie I flew like a flash,
To open the browser and count up the cash.
The transaction was a test of a new created item
It gave the false hope of customers biting.
When, what to my greedy eyes should appear,
But a blacklisted letter from Google, those queers.
With a little DNS switch, a re-direct so quick,
I knew in a moment I can continue scraping shit.
More rapid than Twitter the Adwords converted,
With Megan Fox keywords for the SEO perverted.
“With Friend Feed! with, Diggers! with, Delicious and Sphinns!
On, Reddit! On, Facebook! on Twitter and Linkedin!
To the top of the page! to the top of the SERPs!
Now buy away! Buy away! Buy away jerks!”
Greatest Liszt Post Ever Written
Franz Liszt was a Hungarian composer, virtuoso pianist and teacher. He was renowned throughout Europe during the 19th century and said by his contemporaries to have been the most technically advanced pianist of his age. As a composer, he left behind a huge and diverse body of work, in which he influenced his forward-looking contemporaries and anticipated some 20th-century ideas and trends… one of which was social media.
That’s right! Liszt was one of the most prominent representatives of the “Neue deutsche Schule von Bloggen Fachleuten” where he cultivated the next generation of “Soziale Mediengurus” in the conceptual art of branding.
Considered by many as the Nostradamus of internet marketing, his teachings and techniques were spurned by peers as having no measurable “Kehren Sie auf Investition zurück”. While contemporaries were off creating short 30 second pieces of music for sale during letter opening (Ring tönt as it was called), Liszt did not charge students for lessons whatsoever – the first recorded evidence of the power of “free”. (note: 160 years before Chris Anderson penned the idea.)
Of course though, as a forward-thinking marketer, Liszt offered his students little technical advice, expecting them to “wash their dirty linen at home,” as he phrased it. The “freemium” model, therefore, was born. Instead, he focused on musical interpretation with a combination of anecdote, metaphor and wit. (note: 160 years before Seth Godin penned the idea.)
Liszt also wanted to avoid creating carbon copies of himself, but after his death, was unable to control the countless students of his work from “scraping” his content relentlessly. Hans von Bülow was the most notable “Seien wollen Sie”. Notoriously tactless, Bülow alienated many musicians with whom he worked. He was dismissed from his Zürich job for this reason, but at the same time he was beginning to win renown for his ability to conduct new and complex works without a score. (note: 160 years before Gary Vaynerchuk penned the idea.)
Unfortunately, Liszt’s contributions in the field of social media marketing has been minimized by bloggers worldwide. With his most notable compositions: “6 Hungarian Rhapsodies”, “8 Variations on a Waltz” and “14 Years of Pilgrimage”, the often-used form of link bait was originated. The Liszt Post.
Predictions & Quotes Made by Franz Liszt on Social Media
His prediction on the state of the blogosphere:
A person of any mental quality has ideas of his own. This is common sense.
His thoughts about marketing through social media channels:
I find little in the works of Beethoven, Berlioz, Wagner and others when they are led by a conductor who functions like a windmill.
His rudimentary founding of the keys to search engine optimization:
Brahms’ Variations are better than mine, but mine were written before his.
His ideology about being part of the community as an “agent zero”:
The principal task of a conductor is not to put himself in evidence but to disappear behind his functions as much as possible. We are pilots, not servants.
His first draft of the now-punchy cliche – “content is king”:
A theatre receives recognition through its initiative, which is indispensable for first-rate performances.
Defining Status of Targets In Your Blog Editorials: A Case Study of Allyn Hane
December 29th, 2009 | Posted in Uncategorized | By Jordan Cooper | View Comments
I just recently came across Blogger Illustrated run by “Master Of My Own Domain” video blogger Allyn Hane. Tying into the subject I discussed in an earlier post about feuds and personal attacks, his most recent video When A-List Turns To A-Hole addresses the issue of blog commenting and regular interaction with readers – including Allyn’s “outrageous” take that highly successful bloggers are “douchebags” and “fuckfaces”.
The centerpiece of his “hilariously shocking” rant focuses around David Risley and his recent video post When Comments Begin To HURT Your Blogging Success. Putting the actual issue aside, I think Allyn’s post and blog makes for a great case study (because everyone loves case studies, right?) into the field of comedy, entertainment and editorial commentary.
Why is defining the status of targets in your opinionated editorials important?
Obviously, Allyn Hane doesn’t appear to take any of this into account before recording the verbal vomit that spews from his mouth. From what I gather and perceive, his opinions are completely lost when he does nothing more than cheap shock shtick that appeals to 8th graders and those people who need to put someone else down in order to make themselves feel high and mighty.
It’s horribly unfunny. It has virtually no wit whatsoever. Allyn comes across as arrogant, full of himself, a frat-boy type who boasts about his alcohol tolerance, how great his ‘bitchin’ ride is with its new rims and generally someone who just wants attention in this blogging space to make up for the lack of it in the “real world”. (a term he uses often on his blog)
As examples in this “case study”, check out some of his past videos:
This video is where Allyn calls Problogger.com a “gay ass forum” and calls the content on ProBlogger nothing more that “bullshit fluff”. He then makes fun of a “noob” girl’s guest post there (yet says he’s not attacking her in any way) as well as one by Leo Babauta at Zen Habits – minimizing Ally’s own valid SEO viewpoints by reducing it to nearly two minutes of a horrible Indian accent in mockery of the writer’s ethnicity.
This video is where Allyn spends an inordinate amount of time making fun of commenters on another person’s blog using horribly unfunny impressions of foreign accents. He then rants on those that complain about getting MMO offers in their e-mail by communicating his message by way of a deaf, retarded person. Of course, before ending it with “quit your f’ing bitching, you dumbass!”
Now, back to Allyn’s most recent post where he calls out David Risley as well as any A-list blogger for not interacting with their readers regularly enough. He backs up a similar sentiment made by Sire at Wassup Blog on the subject and says that conversing with your potential customers is paramount – unlike Risley’s claim that interacting too much can actually hurt your business by lacking the time to create compelling content.
…building a business means building customers. REALIZE THIS: someone who takes time to comment on your “social” blog is giving you what we call a “buying sign” …meaning they are on the verge of making a purchase, all you have to do is add in a feature and a benefit (like replying to a comment on the blog) and then CLOSE!
- Allyn Hane
Taking Allyn’s viewpoint into account, I’d now like to present you with brand new edition of…
Practice What You Preach: When Hypocrisy Attacks!
In this episode, I go on the road and visit Allyn Hane’s outposts in the social media landscape. I take a look at how he conducts himself when it comes to interacting with his community, readers, followers, friends, fans and potential customers of his business endeavors.
Nearly 1500 followers @allynpaul has got there. I’m sure it would be highly beneficial to connect with these potential customers, but apparently Allyn has failed to do so. Only one @reply this past month and it’s pretty much based around a hashtag seemingly created to self-promote his beer business. The rest of Allyn’s messages are mostly self-centered in nature – either to push a new piece of content or just to talk about himself. I’m sure his 1,467 “potential customers” must really appreciate the constant lack of interaction!
Nevermind the fact Allyn’s @BigBeerBlog only has 64 followers, it’s still probably important that he connects with these “customers” on a deeper level. Hmmm… 9 tweets in nearly 4 months… and they’re virtually all pushing his own content. Oh, wait! There’s an @reply in there somewhere… it’s a late reply thanking someone for a retweet. I’m sure it was just because Allyn was concentrating more of his interactions on another platform…
I guess I was wrong. At least Allyn apologized for not conversing with his “customers” for a good whole month. Plus he shared a recommendation for a Make Money Online blogger… even though half his blog posts seem to scream “don’t listen to any of those internet marketers!”
It’s nice to see that Allyn has apologized yet again for not being responsive enough at replying to comments on his Facebook fan wall. It’s because he didn’t know how to actually find them! That makes sense… a blogger who rants about internet marketing in the landscape of social media and how it’s imperative to connect with your customers doesn’t have a clue how to do so. Nothing new here.
That’s ok, Allyn. I’m sure you were just busy working on content for your niche sites that are actually bringing in money as a business. Wait a minute… isn’t that exactly what David Risley is doing? Spending more time creating media & materials for interested customers instead of focusing on replying to comments and interacting regularly with his reader community… you know, working on the tangible assets that actually bring cash in to support the family!
I must admit though, Allyn is very good at responding to comments on his own blog. Apparently, communicating with potential “customers” only applies when they come to him. We all know that social media is all about me, me, me, right? To give him some credit, I’ve also seen him around on occasion commenting on other’s blogs… but I’m not sure how genuine they are since this SEO-proponent self to a cult-like degree actively boasts that he’s “just building backlinks, it’s the shiz!”.
To further bring out the hypocrisy in Allyn’s behavior and his recent post… he doesn’t mention that David Risley though, used Backtype to find another blogger’s post that brought up his namesake and then went there (to his “potential customers”) and got involved with the conversation. Not for backlinks. Not to pitch anything or talk about himself incessantly, but to do exactly what Allyn claims he doesn’t do – interact with the community.
Unfortunately, Allyn probably doesn’t have much experience with this since apparently no one is talking about him anywhere anyways. Maybe that’s why he needs to resort to blatantly obvious link baiting post titles and calling everyone more successful than him a “fuckface” or a “douchebag” – or making up for his own lack of talent by using immature frat-boy humor and “shock” tactics to get people to pay attention to him at all costs.
What can we all learn from this case study of Allyn Hane?
First and foremost, as I’ve said recently about how the small fry always loses – you really have to do your due diligence before slinging mud at people.
But back to the main point, you must be able to define who or what the target is and weigh that into your considerations on how to approach a piece of editorial content. Your opinion and message can be considerably skewed and taken much differently than intended solely on how you’re perceived in the presentation of it. What you think of as “funny” or “outrageous” may be thought of by readers as anywhere from offensive to completely abusive.
A-list bloggers can definitely be fair game as being targets “above” the audience, but if you’re going with a “man of the people” approach, you can’t also make fun of those who reside “below” or at the line. You must consider your relative status in comparison to the subjects at hand as well as your relative status to the audience. The direction in which the target lies in the scope of your viewpoint will determine the most effective way of getting your point across. Without keeping this in mind, it’s possible that a very interesting idea that can open up great discussion will be lost in between your poor attempts to “spice things up” or shock others.
And I think Allyn Hane definitely has some valid opinions that I happen to agree with in some capacity. I just wish he’d try to grow up with his taste in humor, either by focusing on the joke itself and making it more clever, sarcastic or subtle… or at least stop making the butt of all of his “jokes” people that are looked at below the level of him and the audience.
Are you taking the status of your targets into account before you write an opinionated editorial or humor piece?